Let's get physical, physical I wanna get physical
Let's get into physical
Let me hear your body talk, your body talk
Let me hear your body talk
Now that I've set the mood (and have you humming a quality tune), let's talk fitness.
Don't worry, this won't be a cheesy Body Break-esque lecture; rest assured, it will definitely be a cornball post.
Let's get into physical
Let me hear your body talk, your body talk
Let me hear your body talk
Now that I've set the mood (and have you humming a quality tune), let's talk fitness.
Don't worry, this won't be a cheesy Body Break-esque lecture; rest assured, it will definitely be a cornball post.
But where to begin on my wacky winter workout adventure? I suppose it all started when the cold weather set in...
Ah yes, my first winter away from Western's gym in four years. For the duration of my university career, I lived within walking distance to campus — thus, I also lived within walking distance to the gym. I could squeeze in a workout before, after, or even in-between classes; I could drop in on the weekends for a study break; or I could meet up with friends for Cardio Kickbox, Total Muscle Conditioning (TMC), or Top Guns and Awesome Abs (TGAA). The gym was always buzzing with life and I even ran into some of my professors there, clad in spandex and see-through shorts (true story, but we'll save that one for another day).
In short, the gym was the place to be: It was quite the healthy procrastination destination and convenience was certainly king.
But this (post-graduation) winter turned out to be a completely different story: With a daily one-hour commute to work, I ended up leaving my house before sunrise and coming home after sunset. By the time I arrived at my casa, it was just too cold and dark to do anything outside.
Sure, I could have joined a new gym, taken up an indoor sport, or just embraced the cold like a 'true Canadian,' but my ability to formulate a myriad of excuses seemed to trump all: Western's gym set the bar too high; I'm too tired after work; I don't have enough time; I don't make enough money; I have asthma...blah, blah, blah. But after more than a few frightening overdoses on chocolate, chips, and every other fatty snack that started with a 'c' (or any other letter of the alphabet for that matter), I knew I couldn't hibernate all winter. So I sought out a solution by doing what I normally do every week: I headed to the library.
No, I didn't whine about my lazy, chocolate-injecting lifestyle to the librarian at the help desk; instead, I headed straight for the DVD section. My solution was nestled between the hard-hitting documentaries and the after school specials. Yes, there they were, those notorious workout videos, sitting pretty in all their flamboyant glory: Hot pink spandex, air-brushed abs, perma-smiles, you name it. Some things never change.
On that note, could those tight and bright outfits, those perky personalities, and all that eccentric music really be considered 'retro' if nothing has actually changed in workout video world? Even the DVDs that were made within the last five years remain overwhelmingly faithful to the above themes. It's as though the workout video world has been frozen in time, happily bouncing around in its own bizarre, neon bubble.
And who knew that there were so many synonyms for your glutes? Bum, butt, buns, fanny, tush, tushy, cheeks, seat, rear, behind, backside, bottom, derrière...the list goes on.
In short, the gym was the place to be: It was quite the healthy procrastination destination and convenience was certainly king.
But this (post-graduation) winter turned out to be a completely different story: With a daily one-hour commute to work, I ended up leaving my house before sunrise and coming home after sunset. By the time I arrived at my casa, it was just too cold and dark to do anything outside.
Sure, I could have joined a new gym, taken up an indoor sport, or just embraced the cold like a 'true Canadian,' but my ability to formulate a myriad of excuses seemed to trump all: Western's gym set the bar too high; I'm too tired after work; I don't have enough time; I don't make enough money; I have asthma...blah, blah, blah. But after more than a few frightening overdoses on chocolate, chips, and every other fatty snack that started with a 'c' (or any other letter of the alphabet for that matter), I knew I couldn't hibernate all winter. So I sought out a solution by doing what I normally do every week: I headed to the library.
No, I didn't whine about my lazy, chocolate-injecting lifestyle to the librarian at the help desk; instead, I headed straight for the DVD section. My solution was nestled between the hard-hitting documentaries and the after school specials. Yes, there they were, those notorious workout videos, sitting pretty in all their flamboyant glory: Hot pink spandex, air-brushed abs, perma-smiles, you name it. Some things never change.
On that note, could those tight and bright outfits, those perky personalities, and all that eccentric music really be considered 'retro' if nothing has actually changed in workout video world? Even the DVDs that were made within the last five years remain overwhelmingly faithful to the above themes. It's as though the workout video world has been frozen in time, happily bouncing around in its own bizarre, neon bubble.
And who knew that there were so many synonyms for your glutes? Bum, butt, buns, fanny, tush, tushy, cheeks, seat, rear, behind, backside, bottom, derrière...the list goes on.
And don't forget the plethora of 'motivational' and 'inspirational' phrases that the cheery instructors incessantly hammer into your brain as you huff and puff away: Whittle your middle; gotta keep both cheeks even; feel the burn; pinch rear; burn rear; are you feeling it?; just think about that chiseled body; you'll thank me later; let's not waste any time; tuck it under; pulse it; hold it; squeeeeeze; are you having fun yet?; don't stop now; you're almost there; you can do it; you're worth it!
Whew, I'm exhausted.
Yet without the 'wacky' factor, these workout videos would simply be...well, boring. Perhaps the workout video formula has never changed simply because it gets the job done. And hey, I'm not complaining. Most of the time, over-the-top theatrics are just what I need to get my ass into gear.
Besides, at the very least, the videos keep me laughing. And that's a workout in itself.
1 comment:
This was great Hil! Keep writing. I think you have a real talent for story-telling and playing with words :D
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